I have these three cousins about my age, and I don't know how we're related. Everyone else can seem to follow the bloodline, but somewhere between, "...Now, your grandmother's mother was her...." I kinda just drift off. The reality is that it doesn't matter. We're cousins, and they're beautiful.
Three women.
One is a mother. She is tall, lean, and she is a missionary in a country where Christians are persecuted. The second is shorter, has gleaming skin and her fathers eyes. The third is an eloquent speaker, and spoke last night at her mother's funeral. Her mother's funeral....
Her mother's funeral.
How do we arrive here? How do we get to this place where we become mothers ourselves...where we start to watch our parents as their body gives out? We worry about our children, and we worry about our parents. As the sun is setting, it is also rising...we are watching both.
Yesterday morning brought my father's first follow up visit after his eye surgery. He underwent an immediate and abrupt surgery to save his left eye after his retina detached. His spirits are up, even though he has to keep his head in a downward position as if he's looking at the floor for 7 days. I watched as the physician stuck a needle into his eyeball to relieve some of the excess pressure in there post-op.
And, yesterday afternoon also brought our daughter's fourth birthday party. I could not throw her a party...between responsibilities & commitments, money, and Jason's kidney stone that is still moving in his system, I was unable to give my daughter what her Grandma and Auntie were able to give her. They came together and had a rented slide, a baby pool, food, and banana splits for the kids. I am eternally grateful, and I know Kimber had an amazing time. I only brought the fruit and margaritas, and took pictures. Because of some of the events, family is in town and I feel the warmth of being near them.
As my daughter lies in my bed, I'm listening to her gently sleeping next to the spot where I just was. Instead of putting her into her bed, I'm going to return to that spot and smell her...because I'm her mommy...and because we're not guaranteed tomorrow.