The second-most topic I get emailed about is depression. Considering that most of the people who read this blog tend to be female, between ages 20-40, married, have at least one child, and do not have a family history of clinical depression or suicide, the majority of the focus in this blog will be on that demographic. However, because depression is a really broad-brush that affects people of all ages, I'll touch on some of the more common studies for others. I won't go into childhood or adolescent depression or geriatric depression here. If you're interested in any of those, there is a lot of research available.
Someone once told me, "It's normal to have bad days, bad weeks, sometimes bad years..." It was a friend, and she was talking about a marriage. However, this is so true for so many different aspects of our lives. There are actually studies that focus on this, called "Marital Satisfaction Across A Lifespan". It turns out that in pretty much every culture, in each society, we all have dips in our marriage satisfaction, and consequently our psyche right around the same time. Why? Because so often, as women, our marriage satisfaction and our life satisfaction are tied together....not always, but often. When we're a young couple, the satisfaction scale usually tends to be very high. It starts coming down as the first child is born, the lowest point is when the family has primary school-age children, starts coming back up as the children become adolescent, and is at it's highest once children leave the home and the couple retires. It's actually higher later in life than it was as a young couple. This is common, and there are jokes about having a "mid-life crisis", because as people feel low in their satisfaction with marriage, life, and themselves at around the same time. They may do things that they otherwise wouldn't do. Often people who go through this might feel a little depressed, irritable, or fearful. They might feel like their best years have gone by, and there's no way except downhill.
Usually depression is co-morbid with other things. What this means is that depression is often correlated with something else that is also present. There are numerous studies that support this about body image studies (depression co-morbid with obesity), abuse or neglect (depression co-morbid with abuse), neuropsychological disorders (depression co-morbid with schizophrenia or other neurological disorders), drug addiction (depression co-morbid with addiction), and the terminally ill (depression co-morbid with AIDS or cancer). Doctors (MD's) in all but 2 states in the US are the ones to prescribe anti-depressants. However, a family doctor is not a psychologist (Ph.D.), and therefore they'll often require the patient to see a psychologist to continue the medication. This is to work through whatever other issue may be present correlating with the depression, and also to develop coping skills so that the anti-depressant is used more as a band-aid until the person is able to cope effectively without it.
The most common prescription medication used for depression is called an SSRI (Seratonin Specific Reuptake Inhibitor). What this is designed to do is make the seratonin your body already produces go a little farther. Instead of it being reabsorbed in the neuron that released it, the SSRI blocks the neuron from reabsorbing it so that there is more seratonin available. Seratonin is our "feel-good" neurotransmitter. It is largely responsible for our mood along with some of our other basic drives.
There are some natural things that we can do to improve our seratonin levels - the first being exercise. Usually, the last thing someone with depression wants to do is exercise....but it's important. Why? When someone has exercised rigorously for 30 minutes or so, there is a rush in the brain of multiple neurotransmitters being released. Dopamine, norepinepherine, endorphins (endogenous morphine), and seratonin are all sprayed in multiple areas of the brain. That is why there are so many studies on exercise improving mood. For people with body-image problems, this is a two-pronged approach. Exercise can improve the body image, and it neurologically releases those feel-good neurotransmitters. A healthy diet, good deep sleep, and a feeling of balance are all also very important to make sure that our body is at it's highest functioning capacity.
Drug addiction is a tricky one. There are numerous studies on "Cross-Sensitization" meaning that people with former addiction develop depression or "manic depression" which is also known as bi-polar disorder. However, studies in rats show that rats who have been stressed are much more likely to develop drug addiction than non-stressed rats. So, it's a case of which came first....we may never know, what we do know is that it's a vicious cycle. Often, prolonged drug addiction to stimulant drugs causes nerve damage in the brain and changes the brain chemistry. Emotions may be difficult to handle, often because the drug was a coping mechanism to handle the emotion to begin with, so the individual may have never developed proper coping skills.
If someone has a terminal illness, chances are that they will be on the SSRI until they pass away. Usually, end-of-life psychotherapy is prescribed by the psychologist, which is very different than other types of psychotherapy.
There are also life's dips and twists that may cause bouts of depression. The loss of a spouse, child, parent, or close friend can definitely trigger this. Giving birth to a child can cause postpartum depression, most often attributed to rapidly changing hormones following the delivery of a child and the adjustment to being a parent. The loss of a job, children leaving home, going through bankruptcy or foreclosure, a divorce, or anything else that causes significant life-changing circumstances can also cause bouts of depression. Sometimes, we have the coping skills that we need already to handle the issue. Sometimes, we need a little help through it. Usually, it's a combination of our own psyche and the degree or severity of the circumstance that determines what amount of assistance we may need. Don't think that because you might need help you are weak, in fact it takes a really strong & brave person to ask for help.
In all cases, it's very important to be honest about any alcohol, drugs, or recreational drugs one may be using with their doctor. There are drug interactions when taking an SSRI, and there are side-effects as well. Alcohol should minimized or avoided altogether when taking an anti-depressant (if you think about it, it makes sense...alcohol is a depressant and an SSRI is an anti-depressant). This can affect the side-effects from the drug and also give the user a large amount of variance in the effects of the drug itself.
In all cases, if someone is feeling low, a little helpless, having issues with getting out of bed, irritable, anxious, having suicidal thoughts, or anything else....there are people highly trained to assist. Sometimes, all they need is a psychologist to talk to and work through some of the issues that may be causing these feelings. If a psychologist recommends that you speak to your family doctor about anti-depressants, then you've got a course of action. There are many types of psychotherapy, and not all types are equal. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is the most widely studied and practiced, and the most scientifically-validated...when seeing a therapist, ask them if they practice this type of therapy.
Laid To Rest
In the spring, I blogged about my sweet Uncle Dan's sudden passing. He was working out in the yard and died from sudden cardiac failure. The funeral and wake were in the spring, however this past Friday, his ashes were buried next to his late wife's, my sweet Auntie Bev. Here are some photos from the service. It was small, sweet, and solemn. My sister read an old Irish prayer, & my Uncle Jack prayed.
This is sweet Auntie Mal explaining to Jet and Kimber what is happening. Kimber doesn't understand, Jet understood completely.
Jet wanted to help by shoveling dirt. He's such a good, kind, sensitive child and I wish he'd gotten to know Uncle Dan a little more.
Kimber comforted Jet. When we first arrived, he wanted to sit by himself under a tree. Kimber came over to him and sat next to him, wanting to understand why he was sad. Farm To Family
Yesterday, I snagged my step-mother's copy of People magazine for some late-night reading. Seeing Carrie Underwood's wedding dress on the cover caught my eye. While flipping to the pages of the pink princess wedding, a photo of entirely different sort grabbed my attention. It was a picture of Mark Lilly in front of a painted school bus emblazoned with "Farm To Family". I forgot about Carrie.
Mark Lilly was watching the movie Food, Inc when he realized that he could do something to bring inner-city Richmond VA families clean meat, farm fresh eggs, and fruits and veggies from local organic growers. He bought an old school bus off of Craig's List and made it into a moveable farmer's market. He picks up food from organic ranchers & growers and drives it via the school bus to innercity areas, accepting both WIC and food stamps.
How amazing is this? His website is at http://www.farmtofamilyonline.com/
Balance In Parenting
I've changed this post from the original as I deeply offended people that I love & care about with the original posting.
Balance In Parenting: My Thoughts
Parenting is highly personal. One only has to peruse through the bookstore to find the multitude of books with entirely different approaches, each claiming to be the only parenting book you'll ever need. Most are written by doctors, child psychologists, or pediatricians, each having conflicting views. They range from the highly rigid to the super-flexible, structured to unstructured, the stay-at-home to the working parent. There are those that support corporal punishment, and others that find it abusive, those that support nursing, and others that explore other nutrition options.....When I had my first child, I felt that some sections from some of these books were helpful, however I felt that any one singular philosophy was not comprehensive enough to fit my family's needs or lifestyle.
I was asked to blog about a relatively new approach in America, called "Attachment Parenting" (AP). A book was recommended, one that I will not disclose because I do not want to direct others to it. I found that I disagreed with much of what the author stated, and was very offended by certain aspects of it. I felt that there was guilt injected, along the lines of..."If you don't do it this way, then you run the risk of not meeting your children's needs..." He used words like, "Gentle, loving, natural, connected, un-neglected, conscientious, night-time parenting," to pepper the pages in a manner that implied this approach supplies these things and other approaches do not. When reading this, I found that I had a highly emotional response of anger, and found it to be rather anecdotal versus scientific.
AP promotes demand feeding, co-sleeping, & is largely based on the idea that the baby needs to be near mom & dad for its emotional needs to be met. One of its philosophies is that crying is a form of expression of a need, and the baby doesn't cry for a reason other than a need going unmet.
Demand feeding means that the baby eats when hungry, not at times dictated by mom & dad. If the baby gets hungry every 2-3 hours (3-4 for an older infant), then I could see this approach working. However, nursing habits can easily go awry early on. Babies can begin to snack-feed, which means they don't eat until full, they eat until they fall asleep or become distracted. Snack-feeding is characterized by short, frequent feedings during the day and night. It interrupts both sleep & play times, both of which are imperative for development. I find several problems with snack-feeding, the first being that it doesn't transfer well to how we should eat as adults: nutritiously every couple of hours versus a bite here & a bite there. I feel that it can cause confusion - other needs can get missed in mistake of hunger. Short, frequent feedings can cause a baby to not receive the highly nutritious hind-milk which lets down in the breast after several minutes of nursing. And, a multitude of studies unrelated to AP have been conducted regarding the correlation between oral fixations later in life & eating habits as an early infant. The theory is that infants who snack-fed or were nursed to pacify whining or crying have a higher likelihood of becoming emotional eaters later on. I believe that there is at least some merit to this theory.
Shared sleeping can be a tricky one. Some children nap well with mom & dad, and also sleep well in their own bed. However, there are times when co-sleeping can be a crutch for the child, & they can have difficulty falling asleep on their own. This can continue for years, affecting both intimacy and sex between mom & dad. I feel that both bedtimes and children sleeping on their own are important for everyone's needs getting met. This doesn't mean that bassinets and cuddle time aren't appropriate, but that there's a time and place for everything and balance is a key component in any family. Children need good, deep sleep. When they get it, they are refreshed & energized. I found for my children that this approach yielded on average an uninterrupted nighttime sleep of 2-3 hours as a small infant, 4.5-5.5 hours by 2-3 months of age, and 6-7 hours by 7-8 months. They were sleeping 8-10 hours nightly well before their first birthday. It's important to recognize that each child may need different amounts of sleep, so some may be refreshed after less sleep than this. My children were both usually whiney during the day if they didn't get these amounts.
As for a child crying or whining because of a need not being met, I completely disagree. I think sometimes children cry because of this, but sometimes they cry because of a want or desire being unmet instead. I feel that the danger in assuming that its always a need can have us feeding the cry, reinforcing the behavior. I feel that children are capable of having their emotional needs met without always having to be near mom & dad, and here again there are variances between children. I do not think that a child self soothing or crying at bedtime are harsh forms of neglect, which this book implied.
As you can gather, I feel that there's a sense of balance in parenting with a structured approach. I feel that both of my children have comfort in the routine, of knowing what's expected. I do, too. Each member of the family has needs to be met, understanding how to balance everyone's needs is important. This is especially true when the child begins to have siblings, and can easily get tricky. That doesn't mean we don't apply flexibility, there are absolutely times when its required. When we're traveling, getting visits from relatives, experience growth spurts or teething, endure illness, or are having a day that requires flexibility because of circumstances, there are often deviations.
That doesn't mean that AP doesn't work for some. If you employ this philosophy and find that your home is balanced, everyone gets enough sleep, feeding is healthy, emotional needs are met, and intimacy & personal needs of others do not get neglected, then that's awesome. However, if you find that this approach yeilds less sleep at night, a cranky or whiney infant, complaints from mom or dad about how little sleep they get, or if the babe cannot be put down without him/her crying, then it's perfectly okay to make some adjustments.
Balance In Parenting: My Thoughts
Parenting is highly personal. One only has to peruse through the bookstore to find the multitude of books with entirely different approaches, each claiming to be the only parenting book you'll ever need. Most are written by doctors, child psychologists, or pediatricians, each having conflicting views. They range from the highly rigid to the super-flexible, structured to unstructured, the stay-at-home to the working parent. There are those that support corporal punishment, and others that find it abusive, those that support nursing, and others that explore other nutrition options.....When I had my first child, I felt that some sections from some of these books were helpful, however I felt that any one singular philosophy was not comprehensive enough to fit my family's needs or lifestyle.
I was asked to blog about a relatively new approach in America, called "Attachment Parenting" (AP). A book was recommended, one that I will not disclose because I do not want to direct others to it. I found that I disagreed with much of what the author stated, and was very offended by certain aspects of it. I felt that there was guilt injected, along the lines of..."If you don't do it this way, then you run the risk of not meeting your children's needs..." He used words like, "Gentle, loving, natural, connected, un-neglected, conscientious, night-time parenting," to pepper the pages in a manner that implied this approach supplies these things and other approaches do not. When reading this, I found that I had a highly emotional response of anger, and found it to be rather anecdotal versus scientific.
AP promotes demand feeding, co-sleeping, & is largely based on the idea that the baby needs to be near mom & dad for its emotional needs to be met. One of its philosophies is that crying is a form of expression of a need, and the baby doesn't cry for a reason other than a need going unmet.
Demand feeding means that the baby eats when hungry, not at times dictated by mom & dad. If the baby gets hungry every 2-3 hours (3-4 for an older infant), then I could see this approach working. However, nursing habits can easily go awry early on. Babies can begin to snack-feed, which means they don't eat until full, they eat until they fall asleep or become distracted. Snack-feeding is characterized by short, frequent feedings during the day and night. It interrupts both sleep & play times, both of which are imperative for development. I find several problems with snack-feeding, the first being that it doesn't transfer well to how we should eat as adults: nutritiously every couple of hours versus a bite here & a bite there. I feel that it can cause confusion - other needs can get missed in mistake of hunger. Short, frequent feedings can cause a baby to not receive the highly nutritious hind-milk which lets down in the breast after several minutes of nursing. And, a multitude of studies unrelated to AP have been conducted regarding the correlation between oral fixations later in life & eating habits as an early infant. The theory is that infants who snack-fed or were nursed to pacify whining or crying have a higher likelihood of becoming emotional eaters later on. I believe that there is at least some merit to this theory.
Shared sleeping can be a tricky one. Some children nap well with mom & dad, and also sleep well in their own bed. However, there are times when co-sleeping can be a crutch for the child, & they can have difficulty falling asleep on their own. This can continue for years, affecting both intimacy and sex between mom & dad. I feel that both bedtimes and children sleeping on their own are important for everyone's needs getting met. This doesn't mean that bassinets and cuddle time aren't appropriate, but that there's a time and place for everything and balance is a key component in any family. Children need good, deep sleep. When they get it, they are refreshed & energized. I found for my children that this approach yielded on average an uninterrupted nighttime sleep of 2-3 hours as a small infant, 4.5-5.5 hours by 2-3 months of age, and 6-7 hours by 7-8 months. They were sleeping 8-10 hours nightly well before their first birthday. It's important to recognize that each child may need different amounts of sleep, so some may be refreshed after less sleep than this. My children were both usually whiney during the day if they didn't get these amounts.
As for a child crying or whining because of a need not being met, I completely disagree. I think sometimes children cry because of this, but sometimes they cry because of a want or desire being unmet instead. I feel that the danger in assuming that its always a need can have us feeding the cry, reinforcing the behavior. I feel that children are capable of having their emotional needs met without always having to be near mom & dad, and here again there are variances between children. I do not think that a child self soothing or crying at bedtime are harsh forms of neglect, which this book implied.
As you can gather, I feel that there's a sense of balance in parenting with a structured approach. I feel that both of my children have comfort in the routine, of knowing what's expected. I do, too. Each member of the family has needs to be met, understanding how to balance everyone's needs is important. This is especially true when the child begins to have siblings, and can easily get tricky. That doesn't mean we don't apply flexibility, there are absolutely times when its required. When we're traveling, getting visits from relatives, experience growth spurts or teething, endure illness, or are having a day that requires flexibility because of circumstances, there are often deviations.
That doesn't mean that AP doesn't work for some. If you employ this philosophy and find that your home is balanced, everyone gets enough sleep, feeding is healthy, emotional needs are met, and intimacy & personal needs of others do not get neglected, then that's awesome. However, if you find that this approach yeilds less sleep at night, a cranky or whiney infant, complaints from mom or dad about how little sleep they get, or if the babe cannot be put down without him/her crying, then it's perfectly okay to make some adjustments.
This Is Why You're Fat
Jackie Warner is one of my fitness heros. Many of the principles that I apply & incorporate in blogs come straight from her. Her focus is on balance, nutrition that supports the body, and exercising to intensity. She has a new book out, with her same trademark straight-talk called This Is Why You're Fat. An excerpt is below, and it's available on Amazon.com. I highly recommend....
"We are a nation of sick, unhealthy people wasting away & mutating into sad, fat, & lethargic people, just getting fatter & sadder by the second. We are an out-of-control nation with out-of-control waistlines. I have noticed that a mass panic is setting in. I see it every day in the faces of people and desperate emails from around the country. So many people are tired, always dragging, and feeling exhausted. Many are a walking medicine chest, dependent on pills to control everything from high blood pressure to sleep deprivation, and are chronically fatigued and depressed. Others can't climb a flight of stairs or walk a block without gasping for air. Millions of people are alive, but hardly living.
I realize you care mostly about getting thin, not about cholesterol levels. But who wants to be sick, tired, and depressed when you don't have to be? Bagfuls of doughnuts or chips are not worth lessening the quality of your life or shortening it.
The effects of poor nutrition and lack of exercise not only are visible on the outside, but will wipe you out on the inside. It's time to take responsibility and treat your body as the greatest gift you have. It is your calling card to life, and through its energy, you can shine as the person you were always meant to be. The foods you'll learn to eat here and the exercise you'll do will help transform your life in every way."
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