One of the structures in the limbic system deep in our brain is the habenula. We think that the habenular complex is responsible for mediating the hormones that provide us with nesting or instinctual maternal behaviors. I remembered learning about this structure in my neuro-anatomy class thinking that maybe some mothers just have really small habenulas, and maybe I got two or three of them from people who didn't get them at all. That cat must have a mega-sized habenula.
Right now, winds at 165 mph sweep over the Caribbean Ocean. By tomorrow morning, the first of the high winds will start to reach the San Juan airport, and around 2pm the eye of the Category 5 hurricane is expected to pass over the island. After the bashing of the gulf coast less than a month ago, resources are slim. Men and women are protecting the interests of the island while their spouses and children are at home without their protectors. Their big shoulders move mountains, but often those mountains are overseas.
My soul mirrors the winds. Semi-predictable. Amid the hurricane party and the work/play atmosphere that will be sweeping over the island tomorrow, it's hard for me to concentrate. I'm living at the intersection of jealousy and worry. There are times I'd like to the be the one out there on the leading edge. Hell, being an ICU nurse, I often am...but there are more similarities between me and him than I'd like to admit at times. The work, the glory, the adrenaline, the fear, the homecomings.
No hurricane parties here. I've got yoga in the morning, dinner to plan for the kids, and a little juggling this week with a Thurs/Fri/Sat work schedule in the midst of three children. My leading edge is figuring out what they'll be doing this Saturday while I'm working 7a-7p. A little bitterness is sometimes sprinkled in with the mundane.
And, then I hear them sleeping. Three children...my leader, my follower, and my free spirit. Two kids that came out of my body, and one sweet soul that this beautiful universe brought to me. Like a duckling.