Day Fifty-Nine: Keeping It Real

Are you keeping it real?

I've been looking at everyone's blogs, at it seems as though many of you are. One person tried body pump & yoga for the first time, another had her whole family run the Cowtown 5k, and amazing Megan Rencher still has her awesome blog going...www.personalchallengefitness.blogspot.com. I've been swimming three times a week this semester, & have been enjoying the variety. I forgot how hungry it makes me, though. With consuming extra calories, I have to be wise about what I eat. Fruit & nuts are always in my book bag, along with my water bottle.

We're almost to spring break, & our courseload this semester has caused a lot of studying around our household as of late. Kimber started school & she's loving it. We think that both Jet & Kimber will be doing Spring Break camp from 8:30-11:30 each day M-F during the spring break week. That will give them a chance to be kids & us a chance to spend some time together. I've also got a Psychobiology exam the Monday we come back from Spring Break, so I can't have too much fun!

Jet & Kimber have been enjoying the zoo, the park, & spending time with extended family when we're not too busy with school & our responsibilities. Here's a photo of Jet with the Sea Lion & Kimber with Grandpops.

Day Fourty-Five: Every Day, One Day At A Time

I saw the movie, Julie and Julia several weeks ago. The idea is that Julie is cooking her way through Julia Child's cookbook one meal at a time, one day at a time...365 days and over 400 recipes. She has a bad day at work, but it all seems to be made right when she combines egg yolks, sugar and butter with cocoa and condensed milk.

There's something to be said for that.

When we do something every day one day at a time, there is a certain sense of calmness in the predictable. This is especially true when the predictable is something we enjoy, something that is selfish even if others reap the benefits, and something in which we take solace. I feel the same way when I put my iPod & sports bra on or when I climb into my swimsuit & pull my goggles down over my eyes. There's just something about it that cannot be put into words.

Today is day 45, half-way to day 90. And, today is the last post I'll be doing for the 2010 Nutrition & Fitness blog for New Year's Resolutioners.

All of the material is here. Now, it's just taking it day-by-day, every day, one day at a time. You've got all of the information you need about nutrition, water, sleep, exercise, and balance - the 5 basics to losing weight and getting healthy. The first 30 days included all of the basics. The last 15 days focused more on the "why" behind weight gain and emotional eating. I also included more advanced material on vegetarianism, veganism, social eating, junk food & factory farming, and raw food fasting. There's also fitness & nutrition tips from the experts. My advice is for the next 45 days, repeat the posts in order until you've done them each twice.

The steps, as I found them of importance in my journey...in order:

#1) Stop doing the bad, start doing the good. Break the cycle. Eat right, drink water, sleep well, balance, learn how to feel human without bingeing or emotional eating.

#2) Get your needs met. Learn how to be selfish and why it's important. Learn that its okay, no matter how guilty you might feel at first. It will come to feel natural in time.

#3) Understand the science behind what you're doing and why. Educate yourself on what you should eat & why you should eat it. Understanding the science helps you to avoid fad dieting & horrible pitfalls.

#4) Take a deep, introspective look inside yourself to find out why you eat bad food, why you eat emotionally (if you do), what the triggers are, & how you can refocus, journal, and love yourself enough to make different choices.

#5) Quit vices that are bad for you. Tobacco, excessive drinking, and illegal drugs should have no place in your life.

#6) Learn how to forgive yourself & hold yourself accountable.

#7) Grow your network of people with the same goals. Ask them to go run with you, take new classes, learn new things. Surround yourself with people with whom you've got nutrition & fitness in common to stay in the right frame of mind.

#8) Understand it's okay to be afraid of success. Learn how to walk on the bridge.

#9) Be a real woman in a fake world. Encourage other women, let them know that they are worth it. Be direct, straight talk. Understand that we all have fears, insecurities, wants, & desires. We all need a sense of balance, even if what that balance means is different for every one of us. Refuse to play games.

#10) Turn every negative into a positive. Be thankful that you hit rock bottom, for if it wasn't for that, you wouldn't be determined. Love your body for bearing children, be thankful for your acid reflux, take every single insecurity and find something about it that you're thankful for. This is what takes us from a place of denial to a place of acceptance and gratitude. For, until we are in a place of acceptance, we are not yet growing. Send loveletters to yourself, make amends & be direct with others. When it's ugly, ask for forgiveness. Remember that you're beautiful & beautiful things are happening.

Do: Never give up. Wake up every morning and recommit yourself to living your life as fully as possible. Take it every day, one day at a time.

Try: Read The New Rules Of Lifting: Lift Like A Man, Look Like A Goddess. http://www.thenewrulesoflifting.com/

Day Fourty-Four: Your Valentines Gift

Heart Yourself.

Valentines Day is about love. Love yourself enough to recommit your gift of health.

Each holiday, each birthday, every special occasion when you get together with family and friends & spend time purchasing the exact gift...stop. Take a nice, long moment for yourself to remember what you're doing and why you're doing it. Your first gift to anyone should be the gift you give yourself.

Take time, journal about it. Read your love letter(s) to yourself, look at before/now pictures. Remember that your health not only benefits you, but your whole family is better because of it. Chances are that you'll live a longer, fuller life with your spouse and your children. You have more energy during the day & sleep better at night. This gives you more quality time in your day to be available to your children. And, if you're eating better, chances are that your whole family is gaining some of that through osmosis. Your clothes feel better, you feel sexier in bed, your skin glows, you look better, and the list goes on.

Even if you stopped your New Year's Resolution somewhere around week 3, recommit yourself to yourself. You're worth it.

Do: Have a lovely Valentine's Day. Enjoy the gift that only you can give to you ~ your health.

Day Fourty-Three: It's Not Working

I had a conversation with someone the other day about their frustration. This person works out 4-5 times each week, and each workout is a quality one.

But, she consumes a lot of late-night calories.

Eating well all day long is great, but your net caloric intake at the end of the day, when you go to bed, is what matters. If you've consumed 1200 calories all day long, but then top it off at night with a couple of drinks at 100 calories each and a munchies binge of 400-600 calories, you've up'ed your intake from 1200 calories for the day to almost 2000 calories.

If your daily intake should be between 1200 and 1500, you've over consumed by 500 calories. Remember that 3500 calories equals one pound, so that means that each week, you can obtain that 3500 deficit if you intake around 1500 calories and work out (burn) 500-800 calories 5 days each week.

It's really an exact science when it all boils down, and just like your checkbook, there's positive numbers and numbers in the red.

What I told her is that her exercise was just maintaining her weight. Late night bingeing of at least 400-600 calories on top of her daily caloric intake would make her GAIN weight if she wasn't working out. All of her work at the gym is being sabotaged by what she consumes.

If it's not working for you, examine what you're eating. At least 80% of weight loss comes from proper nutrition. You can work out and still gain weight if you're compensating by eating more calories.

Do: If it's not working, take a candid look at what you're eating.

Day Fourty-Two: Vices

If you're a smoker, quit. If you're a heavy drinker, learn to scale it down...or quit. If you like some Mary Jane or whatever you call it these days...quit.

There is nothing wrong with having some wine with dinner or a couple of drinks every now and then, but if you cannot commit to a 2x2 rule (two drinks two nights per week...ususally cheat nights), then you drink too much. Not to worry, just scale it down to 2x2 and if you can't, then you might be addicted.

If you smoke the MaryJ, it probably reduces your memory, makes you act silly, and gives you a sense of arrested development. None of this is good. It's okay to act silly from time to time, but do it without assistance. If you can keep a steady job that makes more than minimum wage, awesome. However, most that partake can't.

If you smoke cigarettes, I have one word. Ewww. Why would you ever want to do that to your system. People lite up at an outdoor restaurant, and others ask if they can move to a table further away. Smoking is disgusting, and it makes your mouth, your skin, your breath, your car, and your room nasty. Smoking looks great when it's with a casual drink in a slinky outfit in a night out on the town at 23. But, when you're 55 and looking like you're 70, it's another story. It's much easier to quit at 23 than 55, so do your quittin' now.

All of these impede health. You need oxygen, smoking tobacco takes that away. You need hydration, excessive alcohol intake takes that away. Plus, someone who's addicted to anything but exercise is an addict who's probably out of control. Change your addiction, become addicted to the gym instead.

Do: Examine your addictions. If they're unhealthy, get rid of them. You're stronger & better than that.

Day Fourty-One: Skipping

You're super-busy, bustling around during your day with lightening speed. All of the sudden, you feel a hunger pang and realize that you've not eaten for several hours...

We all get moving too fast, but there's danger in skipping meals.

"All of my morbidly obese clients have one thing in common. They skip meals." Jackie Warner wrote in a recent article. This is dangerous because once you feel a hunger pang, you become a fat-storing machine.

We actually lose weight through eating. Why? Because when we eat something small & nutritious every couple of hours, we don't allow our blood sugar to drop. Keeping it even keeps our metabolism level and keeps us from generating cravings. Also, when we're hungriest is when just about anything will do, and we're most vulnerable to eating food that is bad for us. We also can get cranky or crabby when our blood sugar has dropped, & so do our children.

So, how do we make sure that we don't get caught without? When you pack your breakfast/lunch for work each day, always pack your snacks as well. Plan them out to equal 150 calories (a cheese stick and an orange, an apple with tablespoon of natural peanut butter, a piece of whole wheat bread & cheddar cheese) Always carry a couple of snacks in your purse or bookbag, keep raw almonds stashed in your car. If you get caught in a situation where you've got nothing nutritious, gas stations often carry almonds, fresh fruit, & bottled water. Just don't pull into that Whataburger.

Do: Make sure you've got snacks on board at all times. Keep a different variety that include both proteins and fruits/veggies as both are important.

Day Fourty: The Bridge

Around day 40, I realized that something had really changed in the dynamic of my family. It was I that had initiated the change, but I realized that it had affected everyone around me. I read about it in the book, The Language Of Letting Go, and realized that this illustration was exactly how I felt.

I felt as if I had walked out onto a bridge. I walked alone. The bridge was leading me to a healthy lifestyle, a different way of living with a different set of priorities. I looked back and realized that my husband, two children, and many members of my family, some of my friends & coworkers were all standing on the side where I once stood among them. It felt as if there were a gravitational pull of some sort pulling me back to where I used to be, the gravitational pull is called fear.

I looked ahead and saw the healthy lifestyle I yearned for on the other side. On that other side of the bridge were many of my friends, fitness instructors, trainers, and a host of people who made health a priority.

I yearned to pull my family out onto the bridge with me, but it was a bridge in which everyone had to go in their own time. I couldn't pull them, I couldn't push them. I could only wish for them to step out onto the bridge.

If I had to stand next to them, I could choose to go back. However, I didn't want to be on that side of the bridge. I wanted to cross it, to keep moving forward. I felt a little isolated, a little scared, a little worried about where that would leave me with my family & those I was close to.

Its okay to be afraid of success. It's okay to hope that someday others will make the same healthy choices because we care about their health, but also because we don't want to walk alone. It's okay to expose those we love to good food, and it's imperative that we expose our children to healthy cooking and outdoor playtime. But, in the end, we cannot force anyone to make decisions about themselves. And, we should not be angry at them if they do not make the same choices in their lives.

It hurts, especially when those around us are suffering for their poor nutrition, addiction, & exercise choices through onset diabetes, high cholesterol, and a host of illnesses & depression that only spiral downward. It can make us feel a little isolated, a little scared. Through a natural process when we begin eating healthy and going on walks, some people around you will start incorporating exercise & nutrition into their lives gradually, at their own pace. Just as someone influenced or encouraged you, being on the bridge will encourage others. Don't force it, release it and surrender.

Do: Journal about being on the bridge.

Day Thirty-Nine: Raw Food Fast

Raw food fast? You've gotta be crazy!!!

It's amazing. The first time I heard about doing a raw food fast was when I was listening to an interview that Rory Freedman, the co-author of the book Skinny Bitch, was doing. She is an avid vegan, and makes no qualms about wanting to convert the world to veganism.

What intrigued me was the way she talked about how a raw food fast naturally detoxifies the body, especially the colon and blood. Because cooking food destroys valuable enzymes and removes nutrients from the food, consuming fruits, veggies, and nuts raw is the way to get the most out of every calorie. It scrapes the spackle off of the colon, & hydrates the system. It's almost like your body hits the "reset" button. I went on to do some independent research.

A raw food fast can be done for any length of time. I'd recommend a day or two for your first time, then work up from there. The longest raw food fast I've ever done was 7 days, & I wouldn't go longer than that. Towards the end, the body feels amazingly clean.

To do a raw food fast, only drink herbal tea or water. There is no coffee, soda, iced tea, juice, or alcohol. There is no sugar. Concentrate on dark green, leafy vegetables. Consume fruits and vegetables with the skin on them. Breakfast should be three different kinds of pieces of fruit. Lunch and dinner should be large salads that include leafy vegetables, carrots and celery, red onions, nuts, and other veggies that you like. There is no dairy, no meat, & no animal products of any kind. So, that means leave the eggs and cheese off the salad. Salad dressing should be homemade balsamic vinagrette.

Timing is important, so the first time you do a raw food fast, choose one or two consecutive days where you don't have a lot going on. Plan for it by going visiting produce & putting some good salads together in your head with the food in your basket.

Do: Visit http://www.rawfoodlife.com/ for more information if you'd like to consider a raw food fast sometime in the future.

Day Thirty-Eight: Mariah's Tips

I've posted some tips by some of the pros, but I'm posting some of the things I've learned through trial & error that work for me...

• Never leave the house without food. Always have an apple in your purse, a stash of raw almonds in your car, something healthy on hand. You might be stuck somewhere when your blood sugar drops, & you should always have something healthy handy. It will also make your children good snackers.
• Never leave the house without your water bottle. Again, in your purse or bag...
• Pack your lunch for work or school. Craft calories account for empty calories, plus buying your lunch is expensive. When you've made your food, you know exactly what's in it.
• Never have breakfast for a cheat meal...unless it's Christmas. When you eat poorly early in the day, you'll feel crummy all day long. On cheat meal days, eat your cheat meal for late lunch or dinner.
• Take holidays off. The day of the holiday (Your Birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Easter) try to mix in some good food, watch your portions, and enjoy some of the traditions...just don't go crazy.
• Eat 5 meals a day...breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner. Meals should be 400 calories & snacks around 150 calories.
• Eat a good breakfast that combines protein, fat, & carbs. Spinach omelette with fruit on the side, whole wheat bread with natural peanut butter, etc...
• Listen to your body, not your taste buds. Learn to differentiate between the two.
• When you see someone eating something that looks tempting, observe them for a couple of hours after they've eaten it. Don't indulge in it right away. Often, you'll find that they're complaining about the way they feel (tired, indigestion, headache). This is especially true at the office with chinese food, burgers & fries, fast food, and heavy meals.
• Strive for all of your meals to have 3-5 distinct colors, even if it's just a sandwich.

Day Thirty-Seven: Illness & Injury

Three weeks ago, my daughter was diagnosed with pneumonia. On Monday, my son was diagnosed with pneumonia. On Wednesday night, I began running a fever. Luckily, I don't have pneumonia. However, we've run our fair share of breathing treatments through the Cade clan as of late.

Illness & injury happen. We will eat well & workout all of the time, but at one point or another, the bug is going to bite. How do we handle it when that occurs? I have a different strategy for each.

When I'm ill, I feel as if my body is purposefully trying to stop me in my tracks. It seems to me that the fever, achiness, chills, or vomiting are meant to make me stay stationary and not worry about the rest of the world for a little while. I take care of the few responsibilities that only I can, but I pretty much shoulder everything else onto someone else...just like anyone else who's experiencing sickness. It can be a drag for us, and it can be an even bigger drag for those around us. I usually do not try and make up the days I lost due to illness, they're just gone. On my normal days off, if I'm feeling like I need a workout, I'll try to do something light. It's important that we listen to our body.

Injury is another story. Sometimes, we've got a debilitating injury that puts us out of commission for awhile. However, often we can change our exercises and still elevate our heart rate by just doing something different. For example, if you've gotten a running injury, you can begin swimming or yoga. Both will get your heart rate up, improve your flexibility, & increase your circulation. This can actually speed up the time it takes for your recovery because more blood is being pumped to the area when you get your heart rate up.

Do: Rest when you're feeling ill. When you're experiencing injury, figure out if changing your exercise will work. I always find massage to help with an injury, & you may want to try this as well.

Day Thirty-Six: The Dreaded Dinner Party

You're doing great on your quest to eat healthy. Then, you get an invitation to go over to a friend's house for dinner. You feel anxiety start to well up when you wonder if there's going to be anything there that you can eat.

Most people in America eat in an unhealthy manner. This is multiplied when we're in a social environment. When we dine socially, we tend to consume 2-3 times more calories than when we dine alone or with our immediate family. So, it's good to be on the lookout when you know you're going to be in a social situation involving food.

Some tips to help you stay on track include:

• Never go to a dinner party on an empty stomach. Always eat nutritious food before you go.
• When you pick up your plate at the party, put fruit, veggies, salad, and cheese on it. Don't put on your plate something that you wouldn't eat.
• Drink water, dry wine, or 80-proof alcohol without juices or sugary mix

If the menu includes something that you really don't want to pass up, or if you've been waiting for this dinner party for a long time, you may want to switch out one of your cheat meals so that you don't feel deprived.

Do: Consider which of these options you'd like to explore the next time you're invited to dine socially.

Day Thirty-Five: Making Yourself A Priority

"Hey there, I made the decision that I want to start doing the dishes every Wednesday. Can you do me a favor and remind me every Wednesday? Actually, Tuesday night would be better, that way I can prepare..."

If you're scratching your head, then good. You should be. This is a perfect example of someone putting their responsibility on you. Sometimes, it is just this obvious. It's not fair to you to be requested to remind someone of their commitment, and its not fair to them because it robs them of an opportunity to learn & grow.

Usually, it is much more passive..."I can't pick up the kids today from school because I have that meeting I need to attend...can you skip workout today and do it?" That probably sounds a lot more like what we're used to.

Relationships are about give and take. However, they're also about compromise, negotiation, and getting everyone's needs met through our responsibilities to ourselves & to others. It's impossible to think that we're going to get all of our needs met 100% of the time. I "NEED" to workout & get a manicure & get a massage & take a long, hot bath... Never getting our needs met leads to us feeling victimized and resentful. Neither are good.

What I like to do when it comes to taking care of myself is to have very few daily priorities that need to be met and things can be negotiated around them. For example with the above meeting scenario, we can say, "Absolutely, I can pick them up. But instead of missing workout, I'll want to attend the kickboxing class later in the evening."

I try to first consider my responsibilities to myself, then my responsibilities to others. Sound selfish? It is, sort of. What I mean by this is that there's a balance. I ask myself, "Is this fair to me?" If the answer is no, then I ask myself, "What would be fair to us both?"

If we meet our responsibilities to others without meeting our own, we can become resentful. I know I do. Why? One of the characteristics of "caretaking" is that we hold other people's responsibilities at a higher priority than we do our responsibilities to ourselves. As I've said in previous posts, this leaves us feeling victimized, hurt, angry & feeling unappreciated. It also teaches those around us that our needs come last.

How much does someone really respect you if they're asking you to remind them of their commitment to wash dishes? Or, if they ask you on a consistent basis to forego exercising in light of their schedule? This is often a very difficult adjustment for people around you to accept if you've always shouldered their responsibilities in lieu of your own. It can be even more of an adjustment for you. It may require a considerable adjustment period, like...90 days. Expect grumbling and complaining. Expect statements like, "You can't skip just 1 night? Do you really have to workout 5 days every week?"

Another nature of a caretaker is that we WILL meet our responsibilities to others because its in the nature of a caretaker. I'm not going to let my kids go without a ride home, I'm not going to let my husband miss that meeting... But I do know that if I get too tired & don't make other arrangements, I very well might miss a workout.

If you have to miss a workout, you can work out on a day off (substitute the phrase above with, "Absolutely I can pick them up, but instead of missing a workout, I'll want to go Sunday to that kickboxing class..." or you can impose your wrench system. ("Absolutely I can pick them up, but instead of missing a workout, I'll want to work out at home this evening.") Having multiple options available & making yourself a priority will keep you on track.

For the manicure, massage, hot bath, and other "me time" activities, use your hour daily on your rest & repair days. But don't forget to shower after every workout!!

Do: Ask yourself, "Do I make myself a priority?" Think of examples. If you don't & it doesn't leave enough time in the day for you, then consider establishing some priorities & boundaries. When someone asks you what you've got planned for the day, your response should be, "I'm going to workout and then I'm going to..." This little phrase helps considerably.

Day Thirty-Four: Vegetarian & Vegan

I've known a lot of people who go vegetarian and then order their nachos with everything...hold the meat. I'll see vegetarian meals that are less nutritiously dense than meals that include meat because of one's food choices.

A vegetarian diet is one that excludes the flesh of another animal. Basically, it means consuming no meat of any kind. I've heard it said, "Eat nothing with a face." A vegan diet is a vegetarian diet that excludes all animal products including all dairy and eggs. Things like cake, cookies, & regular breads are excluded from the diet because they've got eggs or milk in the mixture. There are vegan breads, cereals, and cookies that can be found at health food stores, and many of them taste amazing.

I like to go vegetarian & vegan at different stages. We can go to GNC and purchase a detox system, or we can go vegan and do the same naturally to our system. As you can imagine, this probably works considerably better. I usually don't do either for more than a few days to a week, and I wouldn't consider myself either a vegetarian or a vegan. It works very well after the holidays, when you've eaten foods that make you feel yucky and you want to get back quickly to a level blood sugar and a feeling of balance.

There's a lot to consider if one is making the food choice to do either of these. Watching factory farming videos may very well make you want to go vegan. There are a number of resources out there including cookbooks, books, websites, & videos. Regardless of whether or not you choose to eat meat, eggs, or neither; it's important to recognize that junk is junk, no matter what it is. Don't sit down to a plate of fries, a grilled cheese sandwich, and a coke.

Do: If you're interested in getting more info about vegetarian & vegan diets, check out some of the following resources http://www.tryveg.com/ , http://www.exploreveg.org/, or the blog http://www.veganspoonful.wordpress.com/ which has some amazing & healthy recipes, vegan cookbook reviews, & a whole network of other websites and vegetarian/vegan blogs.

Try: Quinoa - quinoa has been around for about 6,000 years. The Incas actually called it the mother of all grains. It is highly appreciated for its nutritional value as it has a high (12-18%) protein content. It also contains a balanced set of amino acids, making it a complete protein. It is high in fiber & is gluten-free. I like to cook my quinoa like rice in water. I let it dry out & then saute it with olive oil, onions, garlic, and a host of vegetables.

Day Thirty-Three: Real Pain

Most of us know what real pain is. We've felt it in the depths of our heart at a point in our lives. It's the kind of emotional pain that makes our body, heart, and mind hurt so bad physically that we don't know if we can go on. We're not sure if we can get out of bed. When we feel it, it seems that our life stops & we've got to figure out if we're going to try and put it back together. If we decide to do so, then how? Often, we don't know where to begin. Sometimes this pain didn't happen all at once. Sometimes, it was present over a period of time - like someone gently rubbing acid on your arm every day during your childhood.

"Many of us were deprived as children. We may have been so deprived of good feelings that we believed life wasn't worth living. We may have been so deprived of love that we believed we weren't worthwhile. We may have been so deprived of protection & consistency that we believed people were untrustworthy. Our parents may have been so wrapped up in their problems and pain, so deprived themselves, they couldn't give us what we needed. We may have been deprived of material items: toys, candy, clothing, food, or a decent home.

Some of us were deprived of a childhood...

...For many of us, life is a big store. This store has two departments: the main floor, holding display after display of good stuff, much of which we can't label because we've never seen it; and the bargain basement, the room with the leftovers & irregulars. The room where we shop." -Melodie Beattie, Beyond Codependency

We all feel real pain at some point or another in our lives. Many of us grew up in a home that didn't teach us some of the things we needed to learn to be ready for life like how to love, how to love ourselves, how to make mistakes, how to play, how to forgive, how to fight fair, how to laugh and be silly, how to eat properly, how to express our needs & establish boundaries. Many of us lost a parent or a sibling. Many of us have lost a child. Many of us have lost relationships, marriages, even ourselves. Many of us never knew ourselves to begin with.

Emotional eating is one of many drugs we use to fill in holes that we have in our life. When we eat emotionally, dopamine is released in the brain. It is the same chemical that is released during an orgasm, a hit of cocaine, & when we consume chocolate. Emotional eating creates in us an addict. Often, we don't want to part with the pain because we've become so accustomed to it. We look for a way to make ourselves feel better for a moment versus taking care of ourselves for a lifetime.

We begin the process to fix this by recognizing the triggers that bring it about, journaling about those triggers & the thoughts of inadequacy or fear that might be going on inside of us. We start trying to find ways to identify it when it's happening. If we want to dig deep & find some of the roots, that may take an investment of time, energy, and a professional counselor's assistance. We reprogram the messages we've been sending ourselves & realize that its okay to feel those feelings of insecurity. Then, we tell ourselves what we are really worth, and that its okay to have needs, its okay to take care of ourselves, its okay to establish boundaries. It's okay to hurt & feel the pain wash over us. It's okay to release the pain to the universe.

We spend some time, giving our heart the attention it needs & deserves. If a boundary needs to be established, we take time trying to figure out what that boundary is & how to express it. Sometimes, it's ugly when it comes out, but that's okay. Its going to take practice and that takes time to learn what we need and how to express it. And, we made a mind/body connection and feed both with the love, nutrition, water, exercise, & sleep that they need. Its a process, it doesn't happen overnight. You have to give it time, be gentle with yourself and ask for help or forgiveness when you screw it up.

Do: If you identify with the emotional eater's real pain, pay attention. When you recognize the triggers, instead of reaching for junk, reach for your journal. Pray that the thoughts come to be tangible, & write down what they are. Then, follow the steps I outline above. If it feels overwhelming, it's okay.