Day Fourty-Two: Real Pain

"Many of us were deprived as children. We may have been so deprived of good feelings that we believed life wasn't worth living. We may have been so deprived of love that we believed we weren't worthwhile. We may have been so deprived of protection & consistency that we believed people were untrustworthy. Our parents may have been so wrapped up in their problems and pain, so deprived themselves, they couldn't give us what we needed. We may have been deprived of material items: toys, candy, clothing, food, or a decent home.


Some of us were deprived of a childhood...


...For many of us, life is a big store. This store has two departments: the main floor, holding display after display of good stuff, much of which we can't label because we've never seen it; and the bargain basement, the room with the leftovers & irregulars. The room where we shop."
-Melodie Beattie, Beyond Codependency

We all feel real pain at some point or another in our lives. Many of us grew up in a home that didn't teach us some of the things we needed to learn to be ready for life like
how to love,
how to love ourselves,
how to make mistakes,
how to play,
how to forgive,
how to fight fair,
how to laugh and be silly,
how to eat properly,
how to express our needs
or how to establish boundaries.

Many of us lost a parent or a sibling. Many of us have lost a child. Many of us have lost relationships, marriages, even ourselves.

Many of us never knew ourselves to begin with.

Emotional eating is one of many escapes we use to fill in holes that we have in our life. Often, we don't want to part with the pain because we've become so accustomed to it. We look for a way to make ourselves feel better for a moment versus taking care of ourselves for a lifetime.
 
It takes courage to look at ourself and identify when we're eating emotionally. It takes courage to allow ourselves to feel pain, let it wash over us, and then release it. It takes courage to ask for help if we need it, to recognize triggers we feel, and to protect ourselves when we need to establish boundaries.
 
I challenge you to think about how real pain has affected you.