The stage was silent. A man emerged from somewhere behind the folds of a curtain. On his arm was a woman. Small in stature, he gently guided her. He paused to tell her something. Unsure, she raised her foot onto the stage...then the other. They slowly made their way to the piano. Ginny Owens sat down and immediately her demeanor changed. Gone was the woman insecure about her footing. As her fingers ran over the keys and she spoke into the microphone, she was undeniably at home. Then, an angelic song emerged from her tiny body that sounded as if it were written directly for me.
For being blind, her sight penetrated the soul.
We don't know why we were born to the family we were born into. We have no idea why the circumstances that plagued us during our youth seemed to choose us. There doesn't seem to be any reason why Ginny lost her sight by the age of 2, while other children have perfect vision. We don't know why we were given a particular body type, were raised on soda and cheetos, or developed an unhealthy relationship with food at a young age. We hear often as a child that, "the world isn't fair."
It isn't.
The refiner's fire is a fire that purifies us. Just like heating metallic material separates the purified metal from the waste, choosing to walk through the fire burns away the impurities. It takes bravery and courage. It is part of growth...and it's a choice.
Some people may be delivered entirely of their addictions, their unhealthy habits, their poor choices. That would be very, very nice if that were always the case. The rest of us usually have some form temptation that greets us each day. Our food addictions subside considerably, maybe even go away altogether for a long period of time. But, one day they crop up again. It may be when we're shopping on an empty stomach and go down the cookie aisle...it may be when we've had an argument with someone and look for a Butterfinger.
We get better and better at recognizing our triggers, identifying what our body really needs, journaling, exploring our emotional relationship with food or other substances, releasing negative energy through exercise, surrounding ourselves with accountability partners, and reducing the situations we put ourself into where temptation arises. But, each day presents new choices and new opportunities. Each day may present stuff from our past working its way into our present.
Each day we can choose to go through the fire or relapse.
I challenge you to choose refinement, purification, and letting go and releasing that energy. I challenge you to continue to journal, explore therapy, go for a walk, or take a nap. I challenge you to choose natural over artificial, real over fake, being present over choosing an escape. I challenge you to choose to recognize your vulnerabilities and sensitivities instead of pretending to be strong or telling yourself that they're not there.
I challenge you to walk through the fire. You won't walk alone.
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