We may have hurt someone....we may have hurt somone in a relationship, said things that we wished we could take back, refused forgiveness, or used our words as daggers to attack. We might have manipulated, stirred up drama, or participated in gossip. We might have abused them by taking advantage of their good nature, neglected their needs, robbed them of their innocence, or enabled them. We may have lied to them to avoid a difficult conversation when we should have told the truth.
We may have hurt ourselves...we may have allowed someone to abuse us, sacrificed our needs for theirs, or allowed someone to take advantage of us while refusing to stand up for ourselves. We may have placed our self worth into what others have thought of us, not lived up to our own expectations of ourselves, or acted against our priorities. We may have abused our bodies, engaged in addictions, become involved in an eating disorder, robbed ourselves of years of productivity, or lied to ourselves.
We may have broken down and binged on ice cream sandwiches.
Refusing to forgive ourselves can keep us trapped in a vicious cycle. It can keep us engaging in that same behavior repeatedly because we refuse to acknowledge our wrongdoing. It can rob us of our self worth and make us feel shameful about who we are. It can make us think that nobody would really love us if they really knew us.
People see through that. We're not fooling anyone but ourselves.
If we've hurt someone else, to forgive ourselves, we must first ask the person we damaged for forgiveness. We must confess, we must apologize most sincerely. We must own up to what we've done and request forgiveness from them. There is cleansing in confession. There is beauty in humility.
To forgive ourselves, we must acknowledge to ourselves our wrongdoing. We should ask for strength to change. We should release our pain, realize that we are imperfect, and do our best to live each day as a changed person.
It's easier said than done.
I challenge you to being working on forgiving yourself for anything you've done that you're still holding onto. If you've binged, if you've overindulged in alcohol or drugs, if you've involved yourself in an eating disorder, if you've been addicted to something, if you've hurt someone else or hurt yourself....whatever it is you've done...it's worthy of forgiveness.
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